YOU MIGHT think I’m talkin’ smack here, but I am stating facts or truths (at least, in regards weird conjectures and sweet fumbles that define my perpetually evolving great American “railway bazaar” journey). Believe it or not, when I am greeted with, “How are you doin’?” on the street (by strangers or acquaintances), I still response with a courteous, detailed accounting of what I’m actually doing at that time (“Oh well, I woke up at 6:17 this morning, had free-trade coffee, read NY Times, checked my Facebook for an hour, 17 minutes, and 35 seconds. Then, I sat down and pondered, what’s wrong with Katy Perry marryin’ this dude?… then, realized I needed to call my sister!”) Or whenever I stammer my silly island jokes and I get, “Get outta here…” I still meekly scoot out of the room… and feel so offended. The following, I purposely singled out those lines with kind of sexual connotations or subtext/s, or tell me…
 Let’s hang out and PLAY.
The catchword is “play.” But then, I can never tell what “play” actually meant… There were times when I stayed over in some of my female friends’ houses, had dinner, and played lots of scrabble and monopoly, till we dropped exhausted (after two glasses of red wine). In those instances, I slept on the couch almost automatically… and then, at the breakfast table, I am asked, “Don’t you like me?” So I meekly respond, “Of course, I like you!” (One time I was invited to do some gardening and “if it’s okay to play” with the water hose… uhh.)
 I REALLY like you!
What was supposedly a simple, uncomplicated, non-suggestive complimentary remark in a galaxy so far away—becomes a confusing invite and/or straightforward statement here. But I am not really sure, I can never be sure… are you? But then, it seems it’s a more honest come-on that an “I love you,” in most cases.
 You wanna STAY the night?
I never thought “staying” means sleeping in her bed. And “sleeping together” means sex. One time, I took a long overnight Greyhound trip to Adirondacks NY from Atlantic City—with a lady friend. Later, I was asked by friends what did you we do while on the night trip. I said, “We talked and slept together.” We did sleep together, shoulder to shoulder—and woke up together, as well. You know, what I mean…
 No strings attached but let’s be EXCLUSIVE with each other.
Apparently, we people don’t like to be in “formal/official” relationship trappings, right? Like, we don’t want jealousies, insecurities, arguments etc—all those corny boyfriend-girlfriend confections. Right? But we need to be sexually intimate when we need it… but then, we can be either jealous he/she might be screwing others or scared of catching STDs. So we say, “Let’s just sleep with each other, okay? But, remember, we are just friends… Do your thing and I do my thing.” Friends with (sexual) benefits, uh-huh.
 NOTHING SERIOUS, just havin’ fun.
So play the field… call me when you get “lonely,” let’s watch a movie, maybe cook together? Just having fun. Have sex, take it easy… just having fun. When it gets serious, fun over. Next!
 I LOVE YOU but I am not in love with you.
Why say, I love you, in the first place—if there’s such difference between “loving” and “in love with”? Or when it’s over—why can’t people just say, “I don’t love you anymore”? I think, when he/she just loves you and not “in love” with you—that’d mean, you’ve just become a DiGiorno pizza or Kings of Leon CD. God, I love that mozzarella! Oh yes, I so love Caleb Followill!
 Let’s HOOK UP.
Nah, I am not going to say it. At all!!!
--by Pasckie The Dude