Thursday, August 5, 2010

THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT CONSIDER: “… when you feel you are in love again.”

[Actual practice doesn’t come easy, but still—it’s good to know that we can always try]
[1] JUST LET IT FLOW. Don’t justify or rationalize or “confirm” your feelings. Take it easy, let it flow. Don’t panic and subject your heart in a sort of Grand Inquisition chamber: Am I really in love or I am just horny, or I am just lonely, or I just dig his/her new hairdo? Or don’t counter-interrogate yourself, like—“Is he/she just a reflection of my past? Good shit now, but all SHIT the next?” Come on! Past is past—the present is here and now. And the future is something lovely to realistically dream about... Don’t look for faults and mistakes—sad, bad reflections of your past relationships and broken valentines—with the person you are with right now. Today is a new page, he or she and both of you are a new story to explore, navigate and rediscover. Give each other a chance to be better human beings. Do something different: Bungee jump together tied on pink ropes, or something. Body-paint each other atop a water tank in Hell, Indiana or Mt Kilimanjaro... just do it.

[2] TRANSLATE THE SURGE OF EMOTION INTO SOMETHING CREATIVE. Don’t daydream, hon. He/she is as human as hands trembling and letting go a glass fall and break. Her body has bumps and scars that could exude a new, sweet layer of warmth… your hands and legs have assumed a frail stride that may also mean a new set of tenderness by a park bench. Capture these like you seize the moments and keep them in you. Paint, write songs, cook new recipes, feed people, romance the earth, feel the wind caressing your hair. This is the moment, savor it. But do it because it’s about you and him/her for the world. Don’t believe in mushy crap like, “You and Me Against the World.” That’s nonsense!

[3] LEARN TO WALTZ AND BOOGIE (in bed and beyond). Sweat it out, let love’s juices flow. Yup, they flow really good in the dead of night as the moon’s little eyes of light shine in between the cracks of your bedroom window and the music of the stream flowing or the incessant rain cadence with your naked bodies communicating, feeding, healing, consuming each other… But beyond the bedroom intimacy, go out—run/jog, play basketball or few rounds of pool, dance and boogie to Chuck Berry or the Rolling Stones. Sweat the love juices out… then replenish them over and over and over again.

[4] BE PRACTICAL, CHECK YOUR DEBIT CARD. Now listen, love is not all or 100 percent heartwarming romanticism. Reality is, there are material/financial matters in life that go with love and loving. These days are dire economic times but you are not finding someone to help you pay the bills… but you are (also) looking for someone to ease your worried mind and make things a bit manageable. Not just someone who is always there to massage your tired foot and your aching back or kiss your tears to dry… but someone you can run to when Wachovia or Wells Fargo start acting like the way they are, legal thieves. Life like love is real.

[5] LISTEN THAN SPEAK. Love can only grow than wilt away. Love is beautiful because it is a two-way street, a synergy of wavelengths, a communication continuum. Listen to what she/he’s got to say. Let things flow (the magic word)… you and him/her together is not an organizational meeting. It is the “feel” of the moment that ushers talking/speaking/listening. You can email, if that suits you better… or you can drive up Blue Ridge Parkway and talk/listen. That is being together – ie dinners, laundry gigs, cooking etc – matter a lot.

. Go camping, make a 50 miles drive, build a bonfire, watch a festival of bands, interact with the world with her. Don’t squeeze all the lovin’ inside the bedroom… that’ll subside and go into a “sweet seisure” (to paraphrase Joseph Campbell) before it rewinds again and go into its 2nd (3rd/4th etc etc) wind. It is also kinda stressful to be inside the house always… go to Hot Springs, for example—or camp somewhere beside the French Broad River. Anywhere together where the wind and the breeze and the rain and snow and sunshine keep you company is all good.

[7] AFTER THE HOT KISSES AND WARM HOLDING SUBSIDE A BIT… talk about realism more than starry-eyed-musings about romanticism. What is it that needs to be “changed” or improved on as individuals and as a couple. Be honest. Don’t afraid to admit that you used to dine on deep-fried wahoos or sleeps upside down like a bat on hangover, or maybe you are shy to admit that you have a collection of Bee Gees or KC & The Sunshine Band records and dresses up like Grandmaster Flash when depressed… or whatever it is that you may find embarrassing or “inappropriate.” He or she will understand because love has its own special way of making things work out. You two just’ve to have to honest and sincere.

[8] COMMUNICATE MORE, SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER. See each other more, if you can help it. Presence is like water to a seed. Love isn’t there yet as a full-blown or blossomed rose, it’s just a seed right now—but there are no plants or trees without seeds. The seed of love—that sweet, little tingle that tickles your insides… that is good. Water it, nurture it—be together. This is apart from the cellphone calls, text message/s, Instant Messenger chats, emails, Skype video chats. But you should know how to keep a handle of your pace… you know when you are overdoing or underdoing it.

Bestfriends are cool, a how-to tip from Cosmopolitan is cool, a suggestion from your pet dog or cat is cool, Judge Judy’s advice is cool, a visit to your shrink is cool, too—but it’s the ultimate cool to talk to God. It is you conversing with your inner humanity… love is transcendent, love is healing time, life is the future. God will guide you.

[10] FACEBOOK IT. Don’t announce it to the world, just send out little ticklish silly funny hints that you are just feeling so cool inside you feel like breakdancing to “Play That Funky Music” amidst an autumn rain falling in the mud (nah, not the Tom Cruise kinda trick, that’s no really good for ya). But you know what I mean. Once in a little while, take a break from the rants and raves—like maybe allow a page or two—to send out silly love songs than an angry slew of sociopolitical vitriols. Despite the trials and tribulations, shortcomings and shit—life and living are still gifts of humanity. Enjoy! When you feel like you are falling in love… fall like a freefalling leaf touching the inviting earth, don’t fall like a piano coming down a 7th floor window down to the cold pavement. Dig?

--Pasckie The Superhomey