Tuesday, March 22, 2011

TEN WAYS that you could try to have a fighting chance near a man’s heart… (not necessarily in order)

[1] DON’T IMPRESS him with your new butt tattoo or wonder bra enhanced cleavage. Most likely you’ll catch his attention but not his long-term interest. Yes, some dudes are kinda old-fashioned swains and not really moved by too much show of skin or display of flesh… Let his imagination flow—that is sexy.

[2] Talk to him, draw out his emotion, SQUEEZE HIS HEART OUT. Most men find it painstaking—even mushy or “not-too-masculine”—to let go off innermost emotions and sentiments. What they usually prefer blabbering about are sports, some politics, how cool they really are, and how hot the lady who just walked in is… But that doesn’t mean they are all that “superficial.” Mostly, it just takes some patience to heat them up. All those macho talk that he’s into, those are just facades.

[3] KISS, don’t jump to the “other” calisthenics of sexual positions. Most men also want to look in the eyes of the woman he’s kissing. If you could get him to kiss you longer than he rushes for the jugular (you know, strip naked…) then he’s the kind of man who could probably give/receive love than some dude who just lusts for your body.

[4] Let him have his “MAN THING” toys, hobbies etc—if it doesn’t really hurt that much. Make him feel that despite him getting married or “snagged,” he doesn’t need to give up some of the little frivolous stuff that he does. I mean, if you could spare some time and dough on tanning machine visits and a few additional workout gadgets downstairs, why can’t he play some golf sometimes or collect some Transformers robots (oh yeah, they do that) and Ken dolls, uhhh.

[5] DON’T NAG. Witch-hunting is a no-no. Most men don’t like to feel like they’re in a boot camp or training facility or inquisition trial. Don’t anticipate mistakes or faults. If you love him, let him feel that he can consistently, perpetually change for the better… Love makes both become better individuals. Inspire and motivate.

[6] Be the gentle, HOUSE-CONSCIOUS woman—without being the housekeeper. When you go to the store, try to buy kitchen implements—it’s not that you are the cook, maybe he’s the cook, and say, “Hey, sweetheart—I didn’t buy that new Revlon because I saw this cool Emeril wok, and I know you like this… and I bought a dozen Sunburst dish detergents, too…” I know of some women who don’t even know how to cook/prepare an omelet, but it doesn’t matter—he will cook as long as he feels he’s cooking for both of you.

[7] Don’t buy his GUILTY PLEASURE beers. But don’t prevent him either… just let him decide. Don’t condone his vices but don’t make him feel so bad either when he does. They key is moderation, subtlety. It’s all in the dynamics of a relationship…

[8] MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR. A lot of beautifully-spontaneous night of sweetness, sensitivity, and sensuality (aka SEX), have been snuffed out by little, irksome bitchiness. This actually happened—GF (girlfriend): “You are giving me these red roses, and 12 roses at that?!” / BF (boyfriend): “Yes… what’s wrong?” / GF: “You are insensitive! You just contributed to the murder and commercialization of plants, they are also living things, you know—just like us!!!” Sexual intimacy… keep the it low, quiet, dim-lit. Don’t start a political rant how Hallmark sucked, or condoms must be organic, or “Did you just bought wine at Wal-mart???” Come on… hold, touch, cuddle, kiss—linger, explore, navigate. Just shut your pie hole, and strip each other naked—to a Kenny G CD… wwhat???

[9] After a few weeks of seeing each other, dinners, and sleepovers (oh, it’s the modern era, okay?) it should be time to talk about WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT. Some men evade this kinda “serious” talk, especially when they’re not really into commitments. But some men want to hear what you think or feel, as well… Are you just having fun with sex thrown in, or you mutually plan to take this interaction/connection to another higher/deeper level?

[10] Go with him to the bar, try to GET INVOLVED with what he’s doing, too. Don’t always nag as in: “You are in that pool hall because there’s so many hot girls there!” Instead try to be with him, play with him etc. At the same time, can’t he also join you wherever you want chill, as well? While you two do the laundry together, or go contra-dancing, you may also join hands in pursuing community projects.

--Pasckie The Dude